Lost Souls
by Djinni of the Pen
Summary: Based loosely on the song Mace Spray by the Jezabels - Lyrics belong to them. Set directly after The Day of the Black Sun event. Mai struggles with feelings of hurt and needs to find an outlet. One-shot.


_There's a place in the town, a statue,  
She'd make me wait beneath,  
But its magnificent archways, archways,  
That's where I'd go to weep..._

The Fire Nation capital lay quiet, swathed in clear summer night. It was late; the only people walking the streets were lantern lighters and the city watch. There were more of the latter in recent days, the Fire Lord discouraging any remaining Black Sun invaders from guerrilla-striking the city. Mai watched one such patrol march down the street in an island of torch light. She thought them foolish to ruin their night vision so carelessly.

With an irritated turn of her head she continued her way down the city streets, easily avoiding the others who walked it. She kept her mind blank, too afraid to focus her thoughts before reaching her destination. She needed a place of quiet, a place of solitude where she would be undisturbed.

Her steps finally took her there; a lonely square in the city's poorer district. In its centre was a statue, a life size rendition of Fire Lady Ursa. It was one of the few, if not the only image that publicly remained of her. Mai did not know why Fire Lord Ozai had not torn this one down as he had others. Perhaps because it stood in a poorer district he never feared to pass it by; the Fire Lord would never come here. Someone else wouldn't either and that someone was Azula. Not because Azula wouldn't lower herself to step into such an area but because of the statue itself. The one thing Mai knew Azula feared was her mother. The Princess kept that knowledge buried deep but Mai knew. And that was why she came here; Azula would never disturb her here.

As she approached the statue she noticed the shadows of beggars scuttle away. Not far, though. Mai had been here more than once and they no longer feared that she was out to harm them. Still, caution was an invaluable trait for those that were one step away from death.

Mai stopped in front of the statue. The moon gave enough light to show that it was worn from weather and lack of care. Graffiti was etched across it, shouting profanity, pleas, conversations and curses. With a hesitant hand, Mai reached up and touched the stone folds of Ursa's dress. The former Fire Lady had become something of a patron to the poor, taking and bearing all their angry and fearful words, never turning one away. She was a lost soul and that was something the people here could sympathise with.

Mai felt more than a little lost herself. And angry. And hurt. Zuko's letter was still fresh in her mind, like an open wound that no stitch could ever close. It had taken all her strength of will not to show the pain she felt in front of others. It had always been easy for her to do that before; she had controlled her features practically all her life. But this felt like too much, this hurt too much to hold in. And so Mai found herself an outlet, a place where she could let go.

She felt her emotions well up like a geyser, and this time she didn't force them down. There, beneath Ursa's impartial image, she cried.

It was an awkward thing for her to do; she hadn't had much practice at it. She wasn't loud but wept like someone who was hurt too much to cry completely. She sat heavily on the ground, her hands going to her eyes and wiping the tears away as they fell. She sat like that for a while until a sense of being watched crept over her.

Her tears dried up almost instantly, the emotional mask she was so good at wearing falling into place quickly. She stood up.

"Who's there?" she called out. Her hands felt for the daggers hidden up her sleaves and found them. "Come out!"

A figure moved through the shadows warily. Something about the way the person walked was familiar.

"Ty Lee?" Mai called.

Ty Lee stepped into the moonlight. Her friend was not her usual perky, bright self. She held her hands close to her chest and her eyes were wide with worry.

"Ty Lee, what are you doing here?" Mai asked in exasperation.

"Well I could ask you the same thing," Ty Lee responded, feigning confidence.

Mai frowned. "You followed me, didn't you?"

Ty Lee's face cringed guiltily. "You've been going out almost every night. I was worried. I didn't know _what_ you were doing."

"Does Azula know?"

"No," Ty Lee replied emphatically. "No, of course not. I'm not that silly, Mai."

Mai sighed. "No, you're not."

She turned away from her friend and looked back up at Ursa's image. The statue looked beyond her into the distance, calm and benevolent.

"Mai?" Ty Lee's voice was touched with concern.

"You saw me, didn't you," Mai said finally.

"Crying?" Ty Lee was suddenly nonchalant. "Yeah."

Mai turned on her angrily, hating the acceptance in her tone. "You can't tell anyone."

Ty Lee shrugged. "It's normal for you to cry, Mai."

"No, it's not," Mai replied angrily. "I shouldn't be crying over _him_."

"But you love him."

"That shouldn't make a difference."

Ty Lee just smiled. "But it does."

Mai turned away, afraid that the tears that were welling up in her eyes would be seen.

"It's just crying, Mai," Ty Lee said gently. "That's all. Everyone does it. I do it all the time. What worries me is that you had to come here to do it and not come to me."

"Are you done?" Mai snapped bitterly. "Because I'd like to be left alone."

Mai heard her friend sigh. "Well, if you want someone to talk to other than a statue, you know where to find me."

Mai heard Ty Lee leave, her steps a gentle patter across the ground. She held herself in check until she felt sure Ty Lee was gone and then slumped against the statue's base. It wasn't fair that she should be hurting like this, not over a traitor. But, by Agni, it did. Ty Lee was right; the statue of Ursa was doing nothing for her. Sure, she could offload on it all she wanted but that was all. The touch of cold stone was hardly comforting.

She caught a glimpse of something in the sky and looked up in time to see a shooting star. Ty Lee said they were lucky, that you could wish on one and it would come true. Mai smiled; that was Ty Lee for you, always talking about one ridiculous superstition or another. Azula always dismissed her but Ty Lee went out of her way to find good omens for Mai. In her own way, Ty Lee wore a mask just as much as she did; only Ty Lee's was much bubblier.

Suddenly Mai blinked as she recalled their earlier conversation. What was it that Ty Lee had said? She "cried all the time". When did she do that? Ty Lee was emotional, yes, but Mai never saw her cry.

Realisation dawned on her and Mai turned on her heel and ran down the street. Cold-eyed Ursa watched her go.

_I'm right up onto the counter;  
Showgirl, perfect the slow body-roll.  
And breakaway from the anger, oh, ho,  
Just got to let it all go... _

Ty Lee sat on the edge of her bed and wept. She did so quietly, she didn't want Azula to hear.

Today had been fairly typical in most respects. The guards had flirted with her a little too forcefully, as per usual, and she nursed the bruises on her arms. There were ways to shoo them off but, while Azula didn't mind, the Fire Lord disliked her harming his guards. So she had to grin and bear it.

What had made today truly awful, though, was the letter from her family. Her father was sick, deathly so, and her mother and sisters begged her to return home. Ty Lee had requested leave but Azula had forbid it. She had said that she couldn't bear to have her away for any period of time, not with the recent invasion and all. And while Ty Lee understood that was a privilege she also knew that she would never see her father again. And that hurt. And so she cried, quietly, for Azula would not be happy to see her upset.

The door opened and Ty Lee jumped up in fear. She had been too loud and now she was in trouble, now-

Mai stepped through. Ty Lee sighed and sat back on the bed in relief. "I thought you were Azula."

Mai raised an eyebrow. Her eyes were still red but she seemed a little more under control. "I thought you would be crying."

Ty Lee tried to smile. "It's nothing." She wiped at her face. "I'll get over it. You'll see, by tomorrow, I'll be my bright and cheerful self again and no one will know a thing happened."

"I'll know," Mai said quietly.

Ty Lee's smile widened. "And I'll know about you."

They stared at each other and smiled knowingly, the unspoken words shared in their red-rimmed eyes - _our secret_. Ty Lee laughed a little, wiped her face again, and stood.

"Here," she said and hugged Mai. Her friend felt a little stiff but soon returned the gesture. "At least we have each other, you know."

Ty Lee felt Mai nod. "At least we have that."

_But she loves me  
More than anyone who wouldn't lay a hand.  
She keeps mace spray,  
For you can't rely on the common man..._


End file.
